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Whatever Happened to Going Steady?

December 24, 2013

dating-quote-2

In our grandparents’ era, for the most part dating was simple. Two people would be in an monogamous relationship and it would be labeled as such to the outside world as both people have come to that conclusion. But nowadays, young people are avoiding being in relationships and dating for that matter. I must admit, that my views on dating have changed from being old fashion since starting college to more ‘radical’ but I still think that people should engage in some level of the process, in order to learn about themselves and learn from other people. Below are the terms and rules that I use in reference to the dating process:

Shotgun effect: Throwing yourself out there to/hitting on lots of people. The best way of doing this is to not have a care in the world. First step in finding prospects.  “If you throw yourself out there enough, at least one person will get hit/take the bait”.

Prospects: People you would like to date.

Dating: Going on dates to get to know people. Dating multiple people at the same time is acceptable but you have to make sure that each date knows what the deal is so they don’t put all their eggs in one basket. Your status during this time is single.

Hooking up: Making out and/or fooling around with people you are dating. Does not include sex and is meaningless.

Seeing: Dating one person. You have eliminated all of the other options down to one person you really like. You let them know that they have your focus and that you are only seeing them, however your status during this time is still single. During this time, commitment to each other is really tested; whether the two people acknowledge their single status or not. You only have milk and cookies (sex) with people in this level and the following level.  

In a Relationship: I have no verb for this but this is when the single status changes to taken. I also reserve this level of the dating process for two people who are in love, or think they are. This level is a test to see if love can really conquer all because the next step is marriage in my book.

Now with the society in which I live, I have come to the realization, that they don’t view the dating process in the same way. The terms that most people use are:

Friends with Benefits: On the same level of the following term, “talking”, but one does not progress from this level. This is level is just sexual fun between two friends.

Talking: When you are texting/talking to someone you like but aren’t quite dating them yet. This is a level above friends and again a level below dating. You are single in this stage. 

Dating: Early stages of an monogamous relationship. I believe you are no longer single at this point.

In A Relationship: Fully committed to that one person and now the titles of “girlfriend”, “boyfriend” and/or “significant other” are attached. 

I was recently told that there is also an unnamed level between friends and talking/friends with benefits. I guess that means there are two friends who have an attraction towards each other and act on it but to an extent, verbally and physically. Comparable to my definition of hooking up, but the person claimed its more of a gray/weird area that the term “hooking up” cannot fully encompass. 

But regardless of the rules, levels, and titles, it seems like relationships, whether my definition or the common definition, are hard to come by. As I get older, I realize that my generation becomes more self absorbed in the struggle to be successful that no time is available to worry about someone else. And I agree with my generation on some extent, however, to be with someone, doesn’t mean you have to “worry” about that person and put in effort. If you have gone through the dating process that I have defined, being in a relationship means that the person you have chosen, compliments your life and makes it easier whether it be a laugh when you need it, food when you’re too lazy to get it yourself, or fostering your dreams by pushing you to achieve them. Being yourself should be the most effort put into any relationship and the person you have chosen should only bring out the best of you.

I think my generation is very quick to reject caring people who approach them because they are scared to let someone in, showing their true nature to someone else. Granted, sometimes you let yourself be vulnerable for someone you think is worth it and in the end they break your heart or they have you unhappy throughout the whole relationship but that’s the learning curve of life. Just take the warning signs that you learned in that relationship and be wise when dealing with someone else but don’t completely reject them, everyone deserves a chance (and in some instances two chances). Dating is a way to learn somethings about yourself while learning from other people and to have fun while you’re young (and sometimes while you’re old). I challenge my readers to do a couple of things:

1. Open your eyes and see who cares for you the most. It may be the person whose willing to wake up early just so they could wake you up on time, the person who is willing to cook for you just to make sure you eat, or the person who asks about your day, actually listening to what you say.

2. Once you realize who the person who actually cares for you is, erase the word “thirsty” and attach the word “genuine” to any and all thoughts of that person.

3. Give that person a chance and allow happiness into your life. And if there are multiple who you think care for you, give them all a chance and begin the dating process (as defined by me). 

Roger Dat,

Chloe

*Sidenote: one is not a hoe, slut, or trick for getting to know multiple people at the same time. Remember this process (dating) does not include sex*

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Confessions

December 20, 2013

I have obsessive thoughts.

They cause me,

To intensely,

Re-evaluate a situation,

Until I convince myself to do something on the borderline of insanity.

My obsessive thoughts tell me,

People must like me because its me,

Those who don’t are devilish beings.

Crusader to deliver their passage to hell,

Equipped with a pellet of rat poison,

A slit of the throat,

And a hit to the head with a brick….

Twice.

Just to make sure.

Obsessive thoughts,

Obsessing over the things I cannot have,

Things I must have,

Things I will have.

Obsessing, obsessing, obsessing over the things I cannot control.

Only thing keeping me from an ulcer is the Lord,

But this clenched jaw, hives forming are instead my warning signs.

Obsessive thoughts, control my soul,

Paranoia, obsessing, anxiety, obsessing,

My heart is beating, its going to explode.

But that doesn’t stop the obsessing,

Sleep loss.

Food wasted.

Smile gone.

Obsessing until my planned results come to fruition

Or until I’ve accepted it wasn’t meant to be.

My self-diagnosis is more than any doctor can tell me,

Quacks prescribe drugs to say they fixed the problem,

But my prescription is coming out of my fingertips.

Obsessing over every word,

Obsessing over every word,

Obsessing over every word.

I have obsessive thoughts.

Roger Dat,

Chloe

*After a very long hiatus, Chloe’s World is back. I’ve experienced a lot so get ready for a world of insights.

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Untitled

October 9, 2012

I was born by the river in a little tent

And just like that river I’ve been running ever since

It’s been a long time coming

But I know a change is gonna come, oh yes it will

Released in 1964, but the change Sam Cooke sung for is still in non-existence.

With the word, Racism,

Not losing any of its sting.

The only difference from then to now,

Is that, people see shades of the darkness of the skin.

But it all still leads to the same hatred from within,

No place is safe so with the River I run,

Places where Ice Tea and Skittles,

Justify the shot of a gun.

The Revolution will not be televised.

My people, the revolution must be live.

Sad to say but its between, life and death.

Either remaining silent or spitting out your words til you’re out of breath.

It’s been too hard living, but I’m afraid to die

Cos I don’t know what’s out there beyond the sky

It’s been a long, a long time coming

But I know a change is gonna come, oh yes it will

 Helpless, hopeless, no where to turn,

Drop down to my knees and pray to the higher Being up above.

But as I look up to the sky,

The clouds float by, childhood happiness fills the air.

Then I look down and break to reality,

Where brutality,

Becomes the normality.

When is the change gonna come?

A world where violence, drugs, and hard times don’t exist,

When is it gonna come?

The return of human morality is long overdue.

I go to the movie

And I go down town

somebody keep telling me don’t hang around

Its been along time coming

But I know a change is gonna come, oh yes it will

The price of a movie ticket, about $9.50.

But the only price tag,

On the bodies in the body bags,

Are the little name tags,

That the mortician stuck on their toes.

Aurora, a name that meant nothing to me,

Became the thorn in my side,

Mad to see that an American pastime, turned upside,

Down. But the what the heck do you expect?

A country where people have no respect,

Human life is like that of an insect.

It crawls along the arm,

One sensation of feeling and you cause that bug harm.

Life, is gone.

Then I go to my brother

And I say brother help me please

But he winds up knockin’ me

Back down on my knees

You win your nation a gold medal,

And aint it some shit that they can only think about your hair.

The momentum accelerator hits it’s the brake pedal,

Your inner thoughts become meddle.

What’s hair got to do with one’s physical ability?

A moment where support is needed,

In true American fashion,

Turns to a moment of

Unnecessary, irrelevant controversy.

Its time to be set free,

From the social constraints of what you should be.

The American Dream, doesn’t exist in this society.

There were times when I thought I couldn’t last for long

But now I think I’m able to carry on

It’s been a long, a long time coming

But I know a change gone come, oh yes it will

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My First Time…

June 4, 2012

The title probably reeled you in but this post is not what you are thinking. Currently, I am in Italy studying abroad for 6 weeks. I know many people like to keep blogs for when they travel to keep track of their adventures but since my blog is already in existence, I thought it would be a good idea to keep track of all the things I’ve done for the first time while abroad. And in true Chloe’s World nature, this post will come in the form of a list because you all know how much I like lists.

My First Time…

1. Swam in the Meditteranean

2. Ate at the Hard Rock Cafe

3. Ate veal

4. Went to a Hookah Bar

5. Saw a prostitute and a pimp

6. Went to/got into a bar

7. Met and had a convo with a transgendered female

8. Held a whole conversation in Italian

9. Participated in karaoke

10. Ate pesto

11. Fell asleep on my laptop

12. Went to a black sand beach

13. Had espresso

14. Had chicken wings from McDonald’s and Burger King.

15. Ate fig the fruit

Legit had the time of my life in Italia. I will never forget this summer.

Roger Dat,

Chloe

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Intern Sushi- Be picky about your internships.

May 19, 2012

Let me tell you about an innovative website called Intern Sushi (<—Click Here).

            This site offers internships in Los Angeles, Philadelphia, New York, Boston and 12 other cities across the US within the fields of FILM, TV, SPORTS, MUSIC, FASHION, and ADVERTISING/PR, WEB, TECH, PUBLISHING, THEATRE, AND ART. The great thing about this site is that it eliminates the paper process. The world is going green so be ahead of the trend. The site is just like Facebook (probably the location where you saw the link for this blog post). You upload your picture, fill out the details section, and you’re well on you’re way to applying. You can seek out companies and apply to internships but also, with a complete profile, companies will reach out and scout you. No more changing your resume Objective and Cover Letters to pertain to different companies, just one profile that is all about you and what you can offer. And the whole website is free! Let them know who you heard this from. Select my name- (Univ of Pennsylvania / Clarissa Palmer)– from the Campus Ambassadors dropdown list when you sign up.
Roger Dat,
Chloe
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Top 13 Baby Making Music…Part 2

February 11, 2012

Yes, its that time of the year again. Time for another installment of the Top Baby Making Music, just in time for Valentine’s Day. From the viewership stats on my first one, it appears people have been using my last list a lot ;). Welp, enjoy Part 2 and whatever follows your VDay…

1. Practice: Drake…from the video below, I think Drake agrees with this song being on this list. Peep the last 45 seconds.

2. When A Woman Loves: R Kelly

3. Quickie: Miguel

4. Lotus Flower Bomb: Wale feat Miguel

5. No Bullshit: Chris Brown

6. Fall For Your Type: Jamie Foxx feat Drake

7. Motivation (Remix): Kelly Rowland feat Lil Wayne and Jeremih

8. What You Need: The Weeknd

9. Trouble: Bei Major feat J. Cole

10. I Get Lonely Too (Remix): Drake feat. Jeremih … Jeremih is a beast with these remixes

11. Thinking About You: Frank Ocean

12. Outside: The Weeknd

13. Wet The Bed: Chris Brown feat Ludacris…favorite of the bunch

For my West Indians and those who appreciate reggae:

Everybody Falls In Love Sometimes: Tanto Metro and Devonte

Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

Roger Dat,

Chloe

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My Top Ten Favorite Movies

January 29, 2012

Not only do I watch a lot of TV but I also watch a lot of movies. And like my TV show selections, my movie selections are vast and varying. Below is my Top Ten Favorite Movies list with added honorable mentions. I’ve also added my favorite quotes from each movie so enjoy.

1. Gladiator

Are you not entertained?! Is this not why you are here?!

2. Troy

Men are haunted by the vastness of eternity. And so we ask ourselves: will our actions echo across the centuries? Will strangers hear our names long after we are gone, and wonder who we were, how bravely we fought, how fiercely we loved? 

Not gonna lie, the first two movies on this list convinced me to become a Classical Studies major.

3. Girl, Interrupted

Razors pain you, rivers are damp, acid stains you, drugs cause cramps, gun aren’t lawful, nooses give, gas smells awful, you might as well live. 

Angelina Jolie became my favorite actress after this movie.

4. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again. 

And Brad Pitt is my favorite actor.

5. King Arthur

There is no worse death than the end of hope. 

The only movie I have watched more than 10 times. I’m currently switching up the language when I watch it so I can learn a new language.

6. Precious

Some folks has a lot of things around them that shines for other peoples. I think that maybe some of them was in tunnels. And in that tunnel, the only light they had, was inside of them. And then long after they escape that tunnel, they still be shining for everybody else. 

7. Juice

Looks like you got the juice now.

8. The Princess Bride

There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.

9. Slumdog Millionaire

Money and women are the reasons for most mistakes in life.

10. Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Some things aren’t meant to be changed. You need to accept that. 

Honorable Mention:

Happy Feet

Turn to the penguin next to you. Put your flippers up. Fluff him up a little bit. And give him a great big hug. Okay ladies. Oh, make that little noise again girl. 

I usually don’t choose to watch children films but I can’t even front like I didn’t enjoy this one.

Gia

You know what I think? I think there’s a reason for everything. And I think that there’s a plan for everyone. And I think that God has a big plan for me. Just not in this life. 

This movie was very close to making the list but I couldn’t do without the other ones. But it’s Angelina again. Enough said.

Roger Dat,

Chloe

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